{"id":2460,"date":"2019-03-22T08:25:01","date_gmt":"2019-03-22T13:25:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/?p=2460"},"modified":"2020-10-17T15:22:41","modified_gmt":"2020-10-17T20:22:41","slug":"remove-criticism-from-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/remove-criticism-from-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"You Can Remove Toxic Criticism From Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" data-pin-url=\"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/remove-criticism-from-marriage\/?tp_image_id=2461\" data-pin-nopin=\"1\" data-pin-description=\"Focusing on other\u2019s faults is a natural human behavior. It\u2019s called the negativity bias.  But criticism is a behavior that can be incredibly damaging to your relationships\u2014especially your marriage.\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?resize=367%2C245&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Couple arguing\" class=\"wp-image-2461\" width=\"367\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?resize=1024%2C684&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?resize=150%2C100&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?resize=768%2C513&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?resize=960%2C641&amp;ssl=1 960w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?resize=1320%2C881&amp;ssl=1 1320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adult-criticism.jpg.jpg?w=2160&amp;ssl=1 2160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 367px) 100vw, 367px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Focusing on other\u2019s faults is a natural human behavior. It\u2019s called the negativity bias.  But criticism is a behavior that can be incredibly damaging to your relationships\u2014especially your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>This toxic behavior can be difficult to recognize because it often becomes second nature. Over time, it may even start to become your \u201cpersonal brand,\u201d per se.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you build a reputation for being critical or condescending, people may avoid having a conversation or sharing personal information with you. Or, they may simply avoid you altogether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In your marriage, your partner may attempt to steer clear of you as well. But, your relationship doesn\u2019t have to remain in the negative rut. Here\u2019s how to put a stop to this behavior and heal your marriage:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-identify-condescending-and-criticizing-habits\">How to Identify Condescending and Criticizing Habits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As mentioned, because condescending and criticizing habits frequently become second nature, it may be difficult to identify them. With mindful observation, however, you can successfully pinpoint whether these harmful habits are at work in your own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Firstly, since criticism easily rolls off our tongues, make a point to listen to what you say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Do you dish out a lot of backhanded compliments?<\/li><li>Are you saying \u201cactually\u201d a lot to explain and defend your position? <\/li><li>Have you belittled or been dismissive of your partner\u2019s issues lately?<\/li><li>Do you often take charge in the conversation, allowing your partner little time to fully express themselves?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Additionally, take stock in how you spend your time. Do you pitch in to help your partner after they\u2019ve had a tough day, even though it\u2019s officially your day off? Or, do you kick back and enjoy your much-needed time off while your partner struggles through the evening chores?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not usually comfortable to examine your life under this type of revealing light. But, doing so will help to illuminate areas that need improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-it-s-important-to-change-negative-habits\">Why It\u2019s Important to Change Negative Habits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Behaving in a way that is condescending or criticizing to your partner (or anyone) hurts them.  When we fight to &#8220;win&#8221; against our partner, it means we are choosing to make them a &#8220;loser.&#8221;  This is likely not consistent with the way you want to define yourself or your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not only that, behaving this way communicates to your partner that you don\u2019t value them. Or, at least,&nbsp; that you\u2019re far more valuable than they are. As a result, the relationship struggles in a state of toxic imbalance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Furthermore, it\u2019s important to change negative habits because it\u2019s an unsuccessful way to connect with your partner. As you may have realized, it doesn\u2019t produce positive results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The more condescending you are, the more unhappy you feel. Whether you feel guilty for your habits or disconnected, it\u2019s an unsatisfying way to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ultimately, condescension and criticism are two very big bricks in an enormous wall between you and your partner. Unsurprisingly, neither behavior promotes closeness or intimacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-put-a-stop-to-toxic-behavior\">How to Put a Stop to Toxic Behavior<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" data-pin-url=\"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/remove-criticism-from-marriage\/?tp_image_id=2463\" data-pin-nopin=\"1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?resize=225%2C150&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Adults holding hands\" class=\"wp-image-2463\" width=\"225\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?resize=150%2C100&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?resize=960%2C640&amp;ssl=1 960w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?resize=1320%2C880&amp;ssl=1 1320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/adults-holding-hands.jpg?w=2160&amp;ssl=1 2160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>As mentioned previously, identifying the condescending and criticizing behavior is the first step to putting a stop to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember, forgiving yourself for the negative behavior is also a large part in changing it. It will take practice and purposeful action. But, if you\u2019ve come this far then you\u2019re certainly on the right path to healing your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In a conversation with your partner, ask yourself if you really need to say anything at all. Would listening suffice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps too, if you find you\u2019re consistently disappointed by your partner\u2019s behavior, consider realigning your expectations. This is within reason, of course. Expectations that pertain to housework are far different than those regarding infidelity, for example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also, try to start seeing things differently. Put effort into looking for and  seeing the positives in every situation. This will help to limit the habit of condescension and criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep in mind that stress and anxiety can play a significant role in toxic behaviors. Do a self-check on how you feel inside. Then, find ways to better manage your own stress and anxiety. As a result, you won\u2019t feel as though you need to lash out at others to release your stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Nearly every person struggles with some type of negative behavior. If you feel that condescending and criticizing behaviors are harming your marriage, please <a href=\"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/contact-me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"contact me (opens in a new tab)\">contact me<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Together, we can find better ways for you to express yourself, building your confidence and strengthening your marriage in the meantime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!-- Start SimplePractice Booking Widget Embed Code -->\n<style>.spwidget-button-wrapper{text-align: center}.spwidget-button{display: inline-block;padding: 12px 24px;color: #fff !important;background: #058dc7;border: 0;border-radius: 4px;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 600;text-decoration: none}.spwidget-button:hover{background: #d15913}.spwidget-button:active{color: rgba(255, 255, 255, .75) !important;box-shadow: 0 1px 3px rgba(0, 0, 0, .15) inset}<\/style>\n<div class=\"spwidget-button-wrapper\"><a href=\"https:\/\/jennifer-tzoumas.clientsecure.me\" class=\"spwidget-button\" data-spwidget-scope-global=\"\" data-spwidget-autobind=\"\">Book Appointment with Jennifer Tzoumas<\/a><\/div>\n<!-- End SimplePractice Booking Widget Embed Code -->\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<!-- Start SimplePractice Booking Widget Embed Code -->\n<style>.spwidget-button-wrapper{text-align: center}.spwidget-button{display: inline-block;padding: 12px 24px;color: #fff !important;background: #058dc7;border: 0;border-radius: 4px;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 600;text-decoration: none}.spwidget-button:hover{background: #d15913}.spwidget-button:active{color: rgba(255, 255, 255, .75) !important;box-shadow: 0 1px 3px rgba(0, 0, 0, .15) inset}<\/style>\n<div class=\"spwidget-button-wrapper\"><a href=\"https:\/\/anthony-tzoumas.clientsecure.me\" class=\"spwidget-button\" data-spwidget-scope-global=\"\" data-spwidget-autobind=\"\">Book Appointment with Anthony Tzoumas<\/a><\/div>\n<!-- End SimplePractice Booking Widget Embed Code -->\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule.  Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice.  For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-related-articles-on-relationships\">Related Articles on Relationships<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/intimacy-reconnect\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Relationship Repair: 7 Ways to Regain Your Intimacy and Connection<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/realign-relationship-with-values\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"6 Steps to Realign Your Relationship with Your Values (opens in a new tab)\">6 Steps to Realign Your Relationship with Your Values<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/how-to-cope-when-a-loved-one-has-a-mental-illness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"How to Cope When a Loved One Has a Mental Illness (opens in a new tab)\">How to Cope When a Loved One Has a Mental Illness<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Focusing on other\u2019s faults is a natural human behavior. It\u2019s called the negativity bias. But criticism is a behavior that can be incredibly damaging to your relationships\u2014especially your marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":false,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"","_twitter_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type":"","_pinterest_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"","_medium_share_type":"","_threads_share_type":"","_google_business_share_type":"","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"today","timeOption":"now","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":"absolute"},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v27.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>You Can Remove Toxic Criticism From Your Marriage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you find yourself seeing only the negative in your partner? 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