{"id":4921,"date":"2021-02-11T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-02-11T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/?p=4921"},"modified":"2021-02-14T13:49:52","modified_gmt":"2021-02-14T19:49:52","slug":"understand-illness-limits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/understand-illness-limits\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help Loved Ones Understand Your Chronic Illness & Limits"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Living with a chronic illness can be difficult and sometimes lonely when others don’t understand the limits you have. The people in your life who care about you deserve to know how they can help and support you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, having that support can boost your spirits and help you to get through the harder days of your illness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important to help the people in your life understand the effects of your illness and how it might limit you. But, if you\u2019re not sure how to talk about it or how to help them effectively \u2018get it,\u2019 let\u2019s cover a few tips to smooth the way: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make Reminders Without Frustration<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Even after your loved ones know about your illness, you will likely still have to remind them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That doesn\u2019t mean you need to tell them you\u2019re \u201csick\u201d all the time. But, if they suggest an activity or ask you to participate in something that you can\u2019t do due to your illness, consider it an opportunity to talk about it. You might need to change plans at the last minute or even cancel an event. The more your loved ones understand about your illness, the more prepared and flexible they will be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Explain<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t allow yourself to get frustrated when people don\u2019t automatically take your chronic illness into account. It doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t care about you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often, people who don\u2019t have chronic illnesses just don\u2019t have any experience in dealing with them. They might believe you can recover or  \u2018get better\u2019 via diet, exercise, or medication and misunderstand the gravity of your situation. A gentle reminder can go a long way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Set the Record Straight<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The people in your life will undoubtedly have some misconceptions and some questions about your chronic illness and how it affects you. That\u2019s a good thing. It gives you the opportunity to clear up any confusion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If someone in your life consistently doesn\u2019t seem to \u201cget it,\u201d it might be helpful to reach out to them privately. This is especially true before a big event or a get-together, where it\u2019s important for them to understand your condition and your limits. Again, most people aren\u2019t trying to be dismissive or cruel, they just either don\u2019t understand or have their own ideas about what a chronic illness is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Consider offering them pamphlets or literature on your condition, or links to websites where they can do their own research on the subject. There is no guarantee that they will read it, but it lessens the pressure on you to be the expert to answer every question that arises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be Assertive<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Don’t hesitate to ask for the flexibility and adjustments that you need! Modifications like an earlier\/later time in the day, or change of location (out of the heat\/sun or cold wind if these are triggers for your pain, etc). If you have dietary restrictions you need to follow, make this known ahead of time (or bring modified dishes for yourself if that is easier). Having a guest room that you can retreat and lie down in as needed can be helpful when you get tired or over-stimulated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, be assertive about what you CAN do! Offer to bring a side dish, or set up early before everyone comes and before you are too worn out. Being direct about how you can contribute makes it clear that you are interested in being included and not “just making excuses.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allow Someone to Support You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Bring<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Whenever you do have to go to an event, it\u2019s a good idea to have someone with you who does understand what you\u2019re going through. They should be a trust-worthy support system that will reliably back you up if you need to leave or adjust your plans. They should also be compassionate and supportive when you are experiencing physical flare-ups, anxiety about your limitations, or emotionally spent. Simply feeling like you re understood can help you feel more at ease in any situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t Let Your Illness Dictate Your Time With Loved Ones<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You deserve to live your life to the fullest with friends and family. Your chronic illness might change what that looks like sometimes. But, it doesn\u2019t mean you need to stop interacting with the people you love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try to adapt. Modify your plans if you need to. Show yourself some grace and patience. That might mean coming late or leaving early. It might mean having to take a \u2018break\u2019 at some point during an event. If you can\u2019t come to something because of your illness, ask if you can get on a Zoom call or video chat at some point to see everyone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more your loved ones understand about your illness, the easier it will be for everyone. The people are in your life care about you. Don\u2019t be afraid to share your struggles or your limitations. They will likely show more support than you think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contact Me<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you would like help in developing or implementing any of these ideas, please reach out to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don\u2019t have to figure it out on your own.   Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n