{"id":5081,"date":"2020-11-05T05:49:00","date_gmt":"2020-11-05T11:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/?p=5081"},"modified":"2020-11-05T18:07:08","modified_gmt":"2020-11-06T00:07:08","slug":"anger-habits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/anger-habits\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Habits that Make Your Anger Worse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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There are things you can do in your daily life that make anger easier to handle. There are also habits that can make it worse. Not only can those habits cause you to become angry more often, but they can make your bouts of anger more intense for everyone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what can you do to get a better handle on your anger?\u00a0 One of the best things is to avoid those anger-inducing habits. Understanding what they are and how they affect you is a good place to start.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

1. Blaming Others Intensifies Anger<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You might think it\u2019s easier to put the blame of your anger on someone else, no matter the situation. At the time, it can alleviate guilt and make you feel as though you haven\u2019t done anything wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, externalizing blame doesn\u2019t put you in control. In fact, it places you in the role of victim. It removes the control from you, because you are putting your issues on someone else. You may not be able to control your feelings of anger, but you can control how you react and respond. Taking accountability for it is important. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Stoking the Fire of Your Anger<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Do you find yourself always bringing up situations or occurrences that made you angry before? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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If a situation has passed, let it pass. It might still upset you, but bringing it up over and over again will only make you more upset. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflect long enough to discern if there is something to learn from that situation, but then try to let it go. Some issues are able to be resolved. Others are not. By consistently stoking the fire and bringing up the same issues, you\u2019ll never give yourself a chance to let go of that anger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Retaliating<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By retaliating on the person you\u2019re angry with, you\u2019re not going to make yourself feel better. In fact, you will probably only make the situation worse and continue to fuel your anger even more. Although you may feel justified in taking angry action, you have now given the other person reason to feel mistreated. It\u2019s a vicious cycle that will never achieve a resolution or peaceful ending. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Displacing Your Anger<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So, you may be pretty good at not directing your anger back to the source person. However, you might find yourself lashing out against family members or friends, even if they have nothing to do with your anger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This has sometimes been called the “kick the dog\/cat syndome”<\/a> – maybe you feel mistreated by your boss, so you come home and kick the dog (or punch a wall, or yell at your spouse\/kids). You temporarily feel more powerful, but at what costs?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Displacing your anger can be a dangerous habit to get into. Just because you\u2019re upset, taking it out on those closest to you can have a negative impact on your relationship. If you lash out at your children, they may even start to fear you or feel as though they have to \u2018walk on eggshells\u2019 around you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, by directing your anger at the wrong source, you never learn how to either assertively problem solve with the source, or forgive and let go so that you can move on. You just spread the toxic energy you feel onto others who are like “innocent by-standers” or “collateral damage” to your problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Not Growing and Learning<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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By remaining locked in your anger (blaming others, feeding it, retaliating or displacing), you miss out on an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember, angry feelings are not necessarily unhealthy! They are a data point that alerts you that “something isn’t right here.” Try to sit with the anger long enough to notice any patterns. Consider things like: <\/p>\n\n\n\n