{"id":5167,"date":"2020-12-24T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-12-24T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/?p=5167"},"modified":"2025-07-08T19:12:09","modified_gmt":"2025-07-09T00:12:09","slug":"compare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/compare\/","title":{"rendered":"Dare to Not Compare"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Comparing<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s human nature to look at the lives of other people and compare them to your own.\u00a0 This “social referencing” is not a new practice. Comparison has been going on since the beginning of time. Unfortunately, it can fuel feelings of jealousy and worsen insecurity, leading to lower self-esteem and doubts about your sense of self-worth.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

However, our modern society and social media has made it much easier to fall into the trap of comparison. You might find yourself scrolling through Facebook, seeing pictures of people\u2019s \u201cperfect\u201d lives, and wishing you could have what they have.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you tend to struggle with comparing yourself and your \u201cfaults\u201d to others, you\u2019re not alone. But, it\u2019s also an unhealthy habit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, why is comparison so damaging, and what can you do to stop pining for the lives and skills of others?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Problem With Comparing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When you continuously compare yourselves to others, you\u2019re fueling a vicious cycle that by design will always lead to you feeling worse. That’s because you are likely noticing and comparing someone\u2019s strengths to your perceived weaknesses, which can make you feel inadequate.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Anxiety,<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Those feelings of inadequacy can cause you to withdraw from your own life. You might pull away from others, and your performance may even suffer at work because you don\u2019t feel as though you could ever do a \u201cgood enough\u201d job.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And as you isolate yourself, there is a part of your mind that will twist your aloneness into self-fulfilling \u201cevidence\u201d that no one wants you or that you\u2019re not good enough.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you allow yourself to fall into that vicious cycle, it can be difficult to get out on our own. After all, most of this criticism is happening in your own head when no one can dispute it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Putting in the Work<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So, what can you do if you compare yourself to others regularly? How can you move forward when everyone seems to be \u201cbetter\u201d than you? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Social<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Instead of telling yourself that you\u2019re no good, there are a few things to consider. First, when it comes to social media it\u2019s important to understand that it\u2019s not always an accurate depiction of reality. Most of the time, people are only sharing a \u201chighlight reel\u201d of their lives. They are sharing their moments of celebration or accomplishments, which is great! Just remember that they are not typically sharing the daily struggles and nuances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, whether you compare yourself to people online or in person, there is something you can do about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you notice someone else’s awesome success story, and it tickles your sense of inadequacy, instead of running yourself down, let that person be an inspiration to you. Use their strengths to motivate you into who\/what you want to be.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, instead of harboring feelings of jealousy, talk to that person. Ask them how they have achieved the things in life that you want. This strategy will help you to build interpersonal relations, rather than focusing on isolation. Those relationships will help you learn and grow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We need others in our lives that are willing to inspire and push us. When you close yourself off because you think you\u2019ll never be good enough, you\u2019re robbing yourself of that growth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, while comparing yourself to others isn\u2019t always healthy, you can use it as a motivational tool to work harder and obtain the skills you\u2019re pining for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contact Me<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re struggling with comparison or worthiness and want to learn how to move forward, feel free to contact me with any questions or to set up an appointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don\u2019t have to figure it out on your own.   Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n