{"id":5763,"date":"2021-11-04T07:19:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-04T12:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/?p=5763"},"modified":"2025-07-09T11:56:53","modified_gmt":"2025-07-09T16:56:53","slug":"assertive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creativesolutionsonline.org\/rebuild-csbh-sit\/assertive\/","title":{"rendered":"Assertive Communication Skills: How to Find Your Voice"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Assertive<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Some people think of being assertive as the same as being aggressive. They might not want to \u201ccome off\u201d a certain way, so they hold themselves back from speaking what\u2019s really on their heart and mind. The reality? Assertiveness is often helpful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, that doesn\u2019t make it easy for some of us to be more assertive in daily conversations. You might worry about offending others, or feel like you\u2019re being \u201cmean\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, when you aren\u2019t ever assertive, it\u2019s easy for people to walk all over you or think they can get away with treating you poorly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how do you find a balance between being assertive and not being \u201cdemanding\u201d? How can you find your voice?  It\u2019s easier than you might think if you\u2019re willing to put some concrete steps in place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Assertiveness is Expressing Your True Feelings<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve chosen to avoid being assertive, you might be used to people treating you a certain way. But, you\u2019re still a person with feelings and emotions. When you\u2019re treated unfairly, it can hurt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can use those emotions as a gateway into finding your voice by speaking up about how you feel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if someone at work always assumes you\u2019ll finish their projects for them because you\u2019ve never said no, let today be the day you change that. Say something like \u201cwhen you throw  your extra work on me, I feel mistreated and unappreciated because you\u2019re getting the credit while expecting me to do your job.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can use the same approach in your romantic relationships, familial relationships, and friendships. If you feel a certain way \u2013 positive or negative \u2013 talk about it. You\u2019ll quickly get used to finding your voice about your feelings because they\u2019re a part of you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can move to the next step. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assertiveness is Asking for Changed Behaviors<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Once you\u2019re comfortable expressing how you feel and finding your voice in that way, you can start to ask for change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Asking<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Talking about your feelings is a great start. But, it\u2019s not often assertive enough to get people to stop their behaviors. When those behaviors are harmful or damaging to you in any way, it\u2019s time to speak up.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Using the same example as before, you could finish your statement by saying something like, \u201cPlease don\u2019t expect me to do your work for you anymore.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s not a mean or unkind statement. It\u2019s not harsh or demanding or aggressive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s assertive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assertiveness puts boundaries in place. It protects you. It allows you to speak your truth without being overly aggressive about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Find Your Voice<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So, how do you start being more assertive? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the above examples are great, it can take some steps to get there. Even something as simple as expressing your feelings can take time and practice. Thankfully, there are techniques you can use every day to help find your voice, including: <\/p>\n\n\n\n