Heartbreak? Healthy Ways to Handle a Breakup

Dealing with a breakup is difficult at any age, and is almost always heartbreaking. Whether you’ve been with your partner for a short time or for years, it’s never easy to simply “get over” a relationship. 

However, there are some things you can do following a breakup that will be healthier and more beneficial to you.

Working through a breakup with maturity can make the process easier. It doesn’t matter if you were the one who called it off, or it happened unexpectedly.

Going through a breakup in a mature way can give you closure and help you both to move on.

So, what are some practical ways to deal with a breakup like a grown-up?

Don’t Talk Negatively About Your Ex

You will undoubtedly need to reach out to your friends and family for support. However, resist the urge to spend all your time complaining about your ex.

Initially, it might feel good to vent, and to have your friends and family echo the validity of your complaints. But, when you continue to say negative things about your ex, you start to base your own happiness and contentment on their pain or bringing them down.

Instead, encourage your friends and family to help you move on. Redirect them if they begin to trash talk your ex every time they see you. Assure them that your happiness doesn’t depend on the downfall of another person.

Rely on Your Support System to Soothe Heartbreak

No matter your age, it’s important to have a strong support system after a breakup.

Spend time with people who remind you who you are, and are supportive of you as a person.

Furthermore, try not to focus all of your time talking about your relationship that ended. Instead, focus on starting fresh, and doing the things with your friends and family that you really enjoy. Focus on your current relationships with them and try to energetically engage in your common interests and activities.

Get Outside and Get Active

Getting more physical is a great way to work through the frustrations and even the sadness that can come with a breakup.

Some people use the life-changing event as a chance to start a difficult workout regimen or try a new exercise class.

You can couple up the benefits of exercise by doing as much of it as possible outside. It might sound cliche, but getting some fresh air and sunlight each day will help you to feel better, give you more energy, and help you to relax.

Both of these solutions are easy, natural ways to boost your mood every day.

Understand Your Emotions

Everyone handles going through a breakup differently. There is no ideal way to feel. The important thing is that you understand your genuine emotions.

When you acknowledge what you’re really feeling, it becomes easier to accept those emotions and move on.

If you try to deny your true feelings or put on a brave face, you could be making things worse for yourself. Suppressing feelings doesn’t make you more mature. In fact, it can lead to a breakdown later on.

Give yourself real time to grieve. No matter how long the relationship was, you’re losing something important. That takes time to get through.

It is a natural time to self-reflect on who you were before the relationship, during, and after. How have you changed because of the relationship? Embrace and honor the positive ways you have grown because of it, and look for any parts of yourself that perhaps you "lost" in the process of being a couple - this can be a time to reclaim those parts of you.

Stop Blaming Yourself for Entire Breakup

No matter how the relationship ended, you can’t blame yourself for everything. No one is a perfect partner, and we all make mistakes.

To keep looking back on the things you could have done differently or “better” will only prevent you from finding closure. This isn't to say that you shouldn't learn and grow from any regrets you may have about your role in the relationship, but rather to encourage a balanced perspective on responsibility for the break-up.

Though it isn’t easy, there are many things you can do to get over a breakup in a healthy, productive way.

Find mature solutions that work for you, and make sure you give yourself enough time to fully move on. When you’re able to do that, you can open new doors to different possibilities in your future.

Relationship break-ups can be confusing and overwhelming. If you would like some help sorting out your thoughts and feelings as you move forward, please contact me.

You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.

*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.

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