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Many people think that making a change requires an instant decision, followed by instant action. But, change doesn’t have to happen “overnight”. Taking your time, slowing down, and thinking things through doesn’t make you lazy or unmotivated to make a change. Rather, being contemplative can make you feel better and more confident in your change.
According to the Stages of Change Model developed by Prochaska & DiClemente, each stage of change responds to different motivational supports. The model was designed for smokers who wanted to quit but were having a hard time doing so quickly, or cutting themselves off “cold turkey”.
While it’s a great model to use for smoking and other addictions, it can be adapted to fit just about any major life change you’re going through.
With that in mind, let’s use that model to further understand why it’s okay to slow down when you’re thinking about a big change.
Contemplation Leads to Deeper Thinking
Using the Stages of Change Model, the first two stages you’ll go through are pre-contemplation and contemplation.
Interestingly enough, pre-contemplation might be your current state of being. It’s the stage in which you have no intention of changing your behavior, and so your default plan is for things to stay as they are. Contemplation is when you start to consider a change, but it’s more than just thinking that it’s time to start something different.
Contemplation is a time when you consider the pro's and con's and think about why you want to change. What about your current situation makes you unfulfilled? What are the benefits of changing? How do you plan on doing it? What might get in the way?
Preparation Gives You Confidence
Once you’ve contemplated your change and now how you want to implement it, taking the time to properly prepare is important. Far too many people jump “head first” into a major life change without being fully prepared. Not only is it easier to fail that way, but it’s harder to get back up again.
When you’re better prepared for your change, whether it’s giving up smoking, starting an exercise program, or taking on a new career path, you’re less likely to be overwhelmed when you hit a roadblock or when things don’t go as exactly as planned. Take as much time as you need to prepare.
Taking Action and Maintaining Your Change
Once you’re fully prepared to make a change, only then should you take action. Think about everything you’ve done leading up to this point. You likely feel more confident after thinking through what you want to do and developing a plan to accomplish it. So, taking action shouldn’t be as scary or overwhelming.
Maintaining your action toward that change can be the difficult part. It’s easy to get complacent, no matter what you’re changing in your life. It's human nature to fall back into old familiar patterns automatically. If you’re trying to quit smoking or recover from some type of addiction, this model also includes the possibility of relapse.
The beautiful thing about the model, however, is that you can exit and re-enter at any stage. You don’t have to completely start over like you might if you were moving things along quickly. Consider any mis-steps as data points on your journey - what went wrong? What can you learn from it to improve your next steps?
Again, that can make the idea of a big change less overwhelming, knowing that you don’t have to start all over when things don’t necessarily go as planned.
Don’t rush any change in your life.
Thinking things through and slowing down makes you smart, not lazy. It means you’re taking that change seriously, and you want to make sure you’re doing whatever you can to be successful.
If you want to know more about the Prochaska and DiClemente model, or just how to make effective changes by slowing down being more contemplative, feel free to contact me.
Contact Me
If you’re contemplating making a change, or struggling to put your plan into action, please feel free to contact me. We can work on applying these concepts to your personal situation.
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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