Resiliency is more than just the ability to “bounce back”. When you hear someone talk about having “grit”, there is probably a very clear picture in your mind of what that means.
Having grit also means having an underlying determination. It allows you to face challenges head-on without faltering. That doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions or difficult feelings to deal with.
In fact, it’s just the opposite. Those with grit see the hard challenges and take them on anyway. They stick to their long-term goals, rather than giving up.
So, what can you do to cultivate more grit and determination in your own life, and be a more resilient person overall? Let’s look at a few ways to increase your grit.
Find Your Passion and Core Values to Fuel Grit & Determination
People with resiliency stick with things, they are committed for the long haul. They make goals and do what it takes to achieve them. So, a good place to start building that resiliency is to consider what some of your passions or core values are.
It will be much easier to achieve your goals and stick with something if you’re highly invested in it. Don’t wait around to find something that interests you or spend too much time thinking about what your passions might be. Instead, explore and discover. Get out there and try different things! Investigate various ideas and interests until you connect with something that intrigues you and stimulates your mind and heart in a meaningful way.
Core values are deeper qualities that tend to drive our motivation and decisions. It is what helps us push through the yuck and discomfort in order to reach our goals. For example, I value deep family connections. Because of this, I am willing to wake up early (I am NOT a morning person) to help my children start the day knowing I am there for them. I am willing to engage in certain hobbies or sports events or tv shows that aren't my favorite because it allows for 1:1 bonding time. It means I will travel longer distances to see extended family rather than just accept not seeing them.
Valuing education means delaying gratification and studying when I'd rather watch tv, or taking required classes that seem unnecessary in order to obtain the degree or certificate.
Valuing resiliency and self-esteem means I am willing to face discomfort and tackle my fears so that I can feel a sense of accomplishment in seeing myself do things I was afraid of or thought I couldn't do.
Focus On Improving
Those with grit don't give up easily. They practice and practice until they get things right. There’s an intentional concentration and constant focus on forward progress.
Failures will come throughout your life no matter how hard you work. But, resiliency means working through those failures and learning from them, so you can continue to improve. Your biggest competitor should be who you were the day before.
Think about some of the most successful people of all time. Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey – they all have something in common; failure. They all had enormous failures as they began their careers. Now? They are all household names with legacies that will go on for years. From failure came determination, lessons learned, and the will to try again. Altogether, these things gel and create the beginnings of the “grit” required to reach dreams.
Get out there and maybe fall down 1000 times, as long as you get up 1001 times you are still making progress and demonstrating resiliency.
Believe in Possibilities
Beyond intestinal fortitude, grit is born from vision and a positive attitude. While people with grit are realistic, they are also optimistic and hopeful.
Of course, that doesn’t mean they dream about things and wait around for them to come true.
They believe good things can happen in concert with their will, work, and determination. It is the belief and hope in certain values and ideals that make those with grit want to work harder. When everyone else says something is impossible, belief in the goal fuels more resilience. Faith in the possibilities inspires more ways to make the dream happen.
Surround Yourself With the Right People
Take a look at the people you spend most of your time with. Would you describe most of them as resilient? Or, do they give up easily, procrastinate, and have a hard time getting things done?
The company you keep can make a big difference in how you see yourself. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to cut people out of your life. But, you should take a look at who is influencing you.
When you surround yourself with people who will motivate you to do more and be better, you’re more likely to live up to your own desires and expectations.
Choose A Counselor to Encourage Grit and Determination
Cultivating grit is absolutely possible at any age. It doesn’t have to be a skill you’re born with or a way you’re raised.
If you feel like things are “impossible” now, you can actually train your brain to think differently. You can learn at any stage of your life if you’re willing to make changes and put in the work. The great thing about this particular characteristic is that you can change it. Like any other type of training, it just takes time and effort. Why not allow a counselor to help you develop the resilience you long for? We can be a productive part of moving forward and building your grit.
Contact Me
If you want to discuss how to build skills that will support your resiliency and help you take action steps in accordance with your values and priorities, don’t hesitate to reach out!
I know how stressful and demanding it can be to make changes in your life, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Some of the benefits of individual therapy include:
- Having a safe, confidential space to work through life’s struggles
- Speaking openly with a highly-trained professional
- Learning to be curious about oneself and become more mindful about your choices
- Identifying relationship patterns that are helpful, or existing patterns that are interfering with your growth and wellbeing.
- I offer online therapy (video conference style of therapy), which provides an increased level of comfort as you could meet with me from the privacy and comfort of your own home or other location.
You can request a specific appointment time that fits your schedule. Once confirmed, you can complete all New Patient Intake paperwork online as well.
*** The tips offered in this article are for general information and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For more personalized recommendations appropriate to your individual situation, please contact us or obtain professional guidance.
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